How this mom loses her sh*t.

With two boys in our house it’s incredibly EASY to find myself absolutely shocked by my sons' shenanigans. I'm talking, lose your sh*t for the mortal combat battles I have to separate on the daily.


Let’s be real. Parenting can’t always be about smiles and glitter crafts.


Let me take a moment to share with you a visual 😉.


This morning, Team Mesa was prepping for the standard Wednesday morning school chase. I'm cruising through the house, feeling good about the day.


School starts at 8:15am. This means, in order for me to successfully drop the kids to school followed by a painful 5mph fight on the 91 in LA morning traffic, this crew MUST be out of the house by 8:00am sharp.


It's 6:00am. TJ wakes up early, makes himself a bowl of cereal and quietly eats. Meanwhile, Mr. Entitled is sleeping in, the usual. I'm gently screaming from the kitchen across my small 1,200 sq ft. home, "AUSTIN, time to wake up!" Nothing. Crickets. Dogs staring at me like I'm crazy.


I go again.


"AUSTINNNNNNN, what do you want for breakfast??? It's time to wake uppppppp." Side Note: I still don't understand why I'm catering to him and trying to customize his breakfast. Again, nothing. Painful dead air. Great, Austin thinks it's Saturday morning.


"TJ, go wake up your brother."


Now, it's important to note that by me asking for TJ's involvement is an expected exchange of Austin’s tears shed complimented by guaranteed screams for him to get off and "leavvvvvve meeeeeeee alllooonnneeeee Teeeeeejjjjjjjjjj!" This isn't the part where I lose my sh*t.


Austin finally gets up. Complains that it's cold (even though my heater is jamming at a comfortable 71 degrees and I'm sweating from the agony that NO ONE is already not listening to me).


Austin whines to Otis (our 🐶) for following him around the house as he dresses.


Meanwhile, I'm hustling to get myself ready while burning internal resentment that I didn't wake up early enough to go to the gym (again).


I’m rushing between my room and the kitchen to make sure the boys (current favorite, don't judge) Spam/Hawaiian Bread sandwiches are prepped and packaged in one of my 87 bowls that are, once again, missing its cover.


So here's where my world spins 💫.


I'm in my room, fixing my face. Trying not to look like a crispy, sun burnt mom.


Austin's dressed, wandering around the house. Still hasn't eaten breakfast (not going to fight this one yet). TJ's somewhere in the backyard, probably making a mess or playing with my husband's tools.


The screams begin. Austin runs to me in my room with his pants down to his knees and only underwear on. "Mommmmmmmmmmm, TJ pushed me and I fell into poopppppppppppp!" 💩💩💩

(insert extremely annoying whiney voice with real tears)


To clear the air, this is one of my dog's 💩gifts in our backyard.




I feel fresh white hair sprouting thru my head. As he cries, I'm pulling off his pants and tell him to go find a new pair of pants. He comes back, still crying, that he can't find pants and puts on shorts (it's 60 degrees outside).


I smell his legs, and apparently the poop leaked thru the pants and to his legs. There's no way I'd let him go to school with this stench.


It's 7:51am. Now I'm pissed, and scream, "GET IN THE SHOWER!!!!!!!" Our 2 dogs are roaming around the house, causing me to almost trip on my face while I furiously look for another pair of pants (of course, there are no more clean pants).


Still screaming and now really losing my sh*t....."TJ why did you do this to him!!? See what I have to deal with now!!! Get in the shower Austin, NOW!" Austin's whining and upset that all of this is happening. Austin jumps out of the shower, still whining, "It's TJ's fault! See Teej!"


I'm ninja searching thru the drawers for pants. Bingo, found him a pair pants with a knee hole. It will have to work. I dress him quickly, still semi-whining. I rush the dogs in their kennels. Grab my 2 too many bags, and announce, like a wild woman, that it's time to leave. We leave like we're running away from a storm.


TJ apologizes in the car as we drive to school. My heart and blood pressure drop immediately and I feel better that he recognizes the wrong. And now I can move on with our day in good spirits. I 😘 the kids adios as they jump out of the car and start my next journey.


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This is 100% a true story and a pretty standard experience in my home. If this happens to you on the daily, YOU are not alone. Moms all over the globe (especially with kids with ultra-energy) are living daily incidences that can totally be avoided.


At the end of the day, it's really important to STOP 🛑and imagine what our lives would be like minus all the mess and chaos. Probably not as fun. So, let's all let out a big sigh of relief, accept the invisible hugs from your fellow mother-friend, sip your wine/coffee/whatever it takes, and be grateful for every second of our incredibly chaotic lives.


❣️Your Fellow Mom-Friend,

Jessica





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